By Shefa Ali
This week in Swalif (my weekly Instagram live show) we asked the question ‘Do you really need to get married to have a happy ever after?’ The majority of the people who joined in the conversation thought it was extremely important to get married, some of them shared the challenges and obstacles they are facing in finding the right life partner.
I think is absolutely ok to approach marriage like a goal. SMART goals encourage us to be specific, realistic and set timelines for ourselves. If you have the goal of marriage in mind, it’s important to be honest with yourself, to be clear about who you are as a person, think about what you are willing to bring to the partnership. Self-awareness is extremely important when entering a lifelong commitment.
For anyone who has really wanted to get married and it’s just not happening, I would ask you to think about any blocks that could be possibly preventing you from your goal. Has there been a divorce or unsuccessful marriage with a family member that has resulted in your having a deep rooted fear of marriage unconsciously?
Don’t trust social media; trust God. It can be easy to look at posts on social media and think that almost everyone else has the perfect life. They don’t; it just looks that way online. Of course, you know people who are worse off than yourself, but you may be focusing on your friends who are engaged, married, or married with children. It seems like you may never have that kind of life. Dwelling on what you don’t have can make you bitter and resentful, instead trust in God and keep living a beautiful fulfilling life, until you meet the right match.
Remember that God has your good in mind. Don’t be tempted to rush into marrying someone because you think it will validate your own self-worth. God doesn’t tell us everything he is doing, and sometimes we ask him for things that wouldn’t be good for us in the long run. Your end goal is not only about finding happiness on this earth but also to live a life to your highest potential, using all your talents and gifts. You can trust that God hears your prayers and has both a purpose and his own timing in all he allows.
God knows what he is doing, so you don’t have to be anxious about the future when it comes to finding a spouse. Make the most of the opportunities you have to grow in your faith and love and serve others and see what happens! That’s the beauty of life you never know what’s happens tomorrow!
n The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa, Website: missshefa.com
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