Be a little kinder than necessary
January 15 2020 09:24 PM
Shefa Ali
Shefa Ali

By Shefa Ali

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about this week, no matter what someone looks like or no matter how they act or seem – you truly never know what’s really happening in their lives. This week on my weekly show Swalif, we had Jassim al-Shamali as a guest. Jassim used to be 190kgs, over the years he has been on a transformation journey and lost over 100kgs.
Jassim shares candid posts about his journey on his Instagram. One post caught my eye and begged me to reach out to him. This is a quote from one of his captions:
“And events led me to the deepest hole of this dark and negative space that took control of my life for the longest time. I know that not everyone’s life is perfect but when you are constantly being rejected like you are not worth a second glance because of your colour and the way you are created just ignited some kind of prejudice in some you know, it can mess you up real bad.”
Talking with Jassim gave me a reminder that we should never assume someone else’s current situation or state of mind. An extremely happy person might actually be going through a really rough patch that we know nothing about.
It’s easy to jump into conclusions about someone at face value. After all, we can only refer to someone from what we see and know about them. Consider for a minute that this person may not feel that comfortable sharing their issues with you, maybe they just act strong in that moment so that they can be there for you.
What I try to remember is to never assume what someone else is going through, and that being more accepting of the way they are and how relationships can change over time is a better and healthier way of viewing our relationships.
I live my life by showing love and kindness to others because I just never know who is in dire need of it on any given day. I ask you to do the same, you might just be that bright light for someone in their hour of total darkness.
It may sound like a small thing, but trust me, people don’t forget it, can make them feel supported, and allow them to get back on track, maybe even drop their stress levels down a notch. When someone is overwhelmed, that’s huge. You may never know how much a small act of kindness will affect someone.
I can tell you that for me, the kindness of strangers and friends has kept me going over the years. I continue to be grateful for them and will for the rest of my life. I truly believe acts of goodness last a lifetime.

The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa,  Website:

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