I remember in the old days, when I used to get angry on almost anything; that changed of course, as I started losing friends, jobs, and myself! I thought that it is a must to enroll myself in an ‘Anger Management’ course to demolish these emotions. It was a two-day course which absolutely changed my life, to the better that is. I recovered destroyed relationships, became popular at the office, and last but not least, got rid of most of the medications which were unnecessary.
Now let’s look at what anger really is!
Anger is one of the emotions that represent annoyance, irritation and exasperation. It is an instinctive, natural and healthy energy which can be utilised to drive positive outcome. It can trigger you to focus on your problems to have solution. It can motivate you to build a constructive behaviour in yourself. It can assist you to express your frustrated and enraged feelings. But at the same time, ill-managed anger can lead to extremely destructive consequences. Constant and uncontrolled anger may result in internal and external damages in the person’s life. It affects mental and physical health causing depression, high blood pressure and heart issues. Hot temper following outrageous behaviour disturbs your personal and professional life as people prefer to avoid you due to yours vex personality.
Anger management is a full-fledged mechanism including a lot of skills like recognising, identifying and organising your anger. Consequences of anger are dependent on the way you manage it. Lashing out on someone or breaking things to release your anger will hurt your belongings. Oppressing your anger is also not safe as it breaks you down and makes you an aggressive person.
There are some techniques to manage your anger to ensure it positively impacts your health, relations and career.
To manage and redirect your anger, firstly you have to recognise it. Some basic symptoms of anger are rapid heartbeat, headaches, sweating, redness in eyes and skin, cramps in your stomach, clenching of hands and tapping your foot or pacing around.
Identifying the cause of your anger is also important. Many a times the real cause of anger is kept hidden and ignored while fighting on lame issues like coming late for 5 minutes or breaking a glass. Once you are getting angry, try to identify and discuss the actual reason of your aggression. It helps in stabilising your physiological condition.
Three stratagem are highly preferred while tackling anger issues: Express, Suppress and Calm. Anger can be expressed in a non-aggressive manner describing your viewpoint without mortifying someone’s feelings. Second option is to suppress your anger and redirect that energy to gain some positivity. Third strategy includes calming your body and mind; this doesn’t only help to control your anger but helps in each and every important step of your life specially during decision making.
Psychologists and meditators have suggested some methods to calm yourself and to relax. Breathe deeply taking long breaths. It helps to normalise your air flow that usually destabilises in the state of anger. Reverse counting from 10 to 1 with deep breaths diverts your attention from the key reason of anger. Repeating calm words like ‘Easy’, ‘Relax’, ‘It’s OK’ stabilises your mental trauma. Drinking a glass of water with lighter sips during rigorous situation calms you down and lowers your blood pressure. Strolling around your block and walking slowly balances your anger hormones. Finally, remembering and visualising your happy and relaxing memories not only distracts you from the actual issue but also energises you for a new start.
Meditation is a highly recommended precaution for patients having anger issues. Doing a light exercise on daily basis like yoga will help you physically through relaxing your muscles and mentally through calming your mind. Mediation not only controls your anger but brings stability in your whole life.
Now, are you ready to retrieve your relationships, job, and yourself?
* The author is a consultant in Public Relations and Personality Types. Instagram: @Tipsbyhalahill
Hala Bader al-Humaidhi
