By Shefa Ali
This week a lot of my conversations revolved around friendship. Friendship is such a beautiful thing, it has the potential to teach you about yourself and they are a large part of who we are. I really believe that people who come into our lives are not there by accident or a random coincidence. Each person comes along to show us something about ourselves, our strengths our weaknesses and often some very important life lessons. The challenge, I find, is to maintain friendships that support development and release the ones that limit your growth.
Do you ever keep friends in your lives just out of respect for the number of years of you have known them? Even if the friendship is clearly not working? What’s your idea of a good friendship? Friendships should be two-way streets otherwise they are simply dead end roads.
Years ago I would just stay in friendships even though they were limiting my growth. These days I have no time for a friendship, if I feel the relationship is not for the higher good of both parties. I have come way too far in life and developed a deep love for myself that doesn’t allow me to keep anyone in my life who doesn’t input for the respect and effort that true friendship requires.
If you constantly feel exhausted from a certain friendship it may be time for a friendship review. You may want to consider speaking up and letting your friend know your expectations or boundaries. That’s what I do now and if nothing changes after I have expressed how I feel, I remove the gift of my presence. If you can’t be offered reciprocity is the friendship really worth continuing?
I really believe it’s so much better to have a small loyal engaged circle than an army of people in your life who are just taking up space in your life.
Autumn is around the corner, it’s one of my favourite seasons, especially if you get to see it in London or America. I love watching the leaves change colour and eventually fall off the tree. It teaches me how to let things go and make space for new and better things. Maybe it’s the reminder we need to evaluate the people we have in our lives.
The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa, Website: missshefa.com
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