By Barton Goldsmith
It can be just as difficult to absorb success as to accept failure. Some people never feel that they are good enough. Here are ten tips to help you take in and create the ability to be proud of yourself.
Believe that you deserve your success. Many people who have achieved a dream feel that they don’t deserve it. This can come from a lot of places, and in psychology, it is sometimes known as the impostor syndrome.
Don’t undervalue yourself. Where you are could not and would not have happened if not for you. Truthfully, if you don’t give yourself enough credit, it can undermine your self-esteem, and that will affect the success you are trying to build upon.
Celebrate your successes. Most of the time, ambitious people just move on to the next thing without so much as a sushi dinner. You have to celebrate successes, because the celebration helps embed the success chip into your brain. And besides, you deserve it.
Forget yesterday. We have all had failures, and those who claim otherwise are lying. You can’t be successful without a few missteps along the way. Own up to past failures, and then let them go.
Don’t count on tomorrow. Be happy with what you have created, but don’t get caught up in thinking that there will always be an elevator to the top. All successful people have ups and downs, and most of the time that isn’t easy, but being content with where you are right now is a pretty simple attitude adjustment.
Forgive yourself for not being Bill Gates. Do you really want to be the richest person in the world, or is your life really nice, and you’d just like it to be a little nicer? What Bill did was decide to give away his billions to those in need, because he doesn’t need all that money to have a nice life. Neither do you.
Reward those who have helped you. If you are fortunate enough to have good people supporting you in your endeavours, then it is very important that they feel valued. Money is nice, but people also want a pat on the back and to be acknowledged by their peers. See what you can do about helping them feel great about themselves and about what they are doing for and with you.
Understand that success can change how people relate to you. Most people who have become successful notice they are treated differently after acquiring fame and fortune, and it’s not always better. Some people may be envious of what you’ve created. Being aware and getting objective advice will help you avoid those who would take advantage of you or try to take away what you have.
Accept awards and nominate yourself. Awards help you believe that you deserve your success. My staff nominated me for my first award, and I won. I usually don’t think of myself in that way, but having someone honour my commitment to humanity is still deeply moving.
Share your success with those you love. I would not be where I am if not for the love of a good woman, my friends and family who support me, and the millions of people who read my words. I do my best to thank everyone in my circle. We all feel better for it.
Success is attainable for most all of us. Hard work, lucky breaks, and good ideas all help to get you there, and learning how to live with it, so you can continue to share your gifts with the world, is what it’s all about. — TNS
Dr Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, California, is the author of The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time. Follow his daily insights on Twitter at @BartonGoldsmith
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