Are you staying so busy it’s making your head spin?
Instead of saying, “No, I can’t do that,” are you pencilling in new activities every day?
Keep in mind that we can all strive for busyness when we feel lonely. If the holidays make you anxious, choose carefully how you will spend your time.
Don’t just create busyness. Reserve time to create balance and harmony for yourself.
Pushing ourselves is a way to keep from feeling cut off from others.
For example, a “soccer mom” we’ll call Susan spends hours each day driving her kids to games and activities. Susan’s husband travels on business, so she’s free to over-schedule and push her kids to do more.
“In recent weeks, I’ve been thinking I need a better lifestyle,” says Susan. “My kids are exhausted, and so am I. All of this busyness is too much stress. I wonder why I’m doing this!”
Susan’s parents and siblings live 600 miles away. The empty feelings go away when she thinks about how much she has to do. She’s tried slowing down, but the lonely feelings turns into anxiety.
Susan says her house is a mess and her paperwork clutter is overflowing.

If you suspect you need to slow down, reflect on these questions:
* When was the last time you felt your life was in order? If your desk is piled high with paperwork and everywhere you look is messy, you need to spend time getting organised.
* When was the last time you felt inner harmony? This kind of feeling comes when you’re enjoying a cup of hot chocolate with music playing softly in the background.
* When was the last time you stayed in your pajamas until noon? This is a perfectly good thing to do. Occasionally, your “inner child” needs cartoons and no schedule.
“When I moved to California by myself, I partied all night to feel connected,” says a real estate broker we’ll call Joe. “I had no family or close friends, so I threw myself into a party circuit that almost killed me!”
Joe has backed off from his busy days when he slept only two or three hours a night. He’s since learned that loneliness is better addressed by different tactics.
“I was afraid to slow down, because the loneliness would eat at me,” says Joe.
Joe found some peace and relaxation when his neighbours started inviting him over.
 
If you’re needing a calmer lifestyle and inner peace, try these tactics:
* Focus on improving your home life. For example, if you live alone, learn to cook. Nurture yourself by actually sitting down to a few home-cooked meals each week.
* Get a pet. Having a cat or dog to talk to can make a huge difference.
* Learn to enjoy weekly rituals and routines. For example, invite a friend over on Friday nights for dinner and cards. Watch a couple of favourite TV shows or reruns of your favourite sitcoms.
Busyness is counterproductive to creativity in a lot of ways. By slowing down, you’ll clear a lot of static out of your brain.
If you do need to crank up your business or plan a new house addition, for example, take some time out to balance your soul.
Switching to a slower pace will help spark some brand new ideas. A rested mind is a powerful tool in changing anything you need to change.

*Judi Light Hopson is the executive director of the stress management website USA Wellness Cafe
( www.usawellnesscafe.com). Emma Hopson is an author and a nurse educator. Ted Hagen is a family psychologist.