Things have changed, and the world is much more difficult to navigate - I get that. But why has the world become full of people who will lie, cheat, or steal to get what they want or think they are entitled to?
Some people will lie for revenge, for money, and just to make another person feel bad, sometimes to the breaking point. All of these reasons are sadistic and greed-driven, pure and simple. Some individuals for no reason get a kick out of trying to ruin another person’s life.
I guess everyone lies. I admit that I have. These days, trying to get someone else in trouble and attacking them with threats of a lawsuit has become a way of life for a number of evildoers. And for those who have been through a lawsuit, even a simple divorce, you know it can literally be hell on earth.
Dishonesty is pervasive in the business world. A new chain of supermarkets took over a number of stores in Southern California. After promising to keep the staff and not raise prices, the store in my area is always empty because they fired the people we came to trust, and, of course, the store is more expensive with poorer service than the old store (although it does look nicer - I guess someone had to pay for the remodel).
My bank has removed their “drop your deposit here” box. It was bolted to the floor, but I guess someone found a way to steal the deposits, and the bank was obligated to remove the box and other services.
But forget about big business. What about dishonesty among friends and family? I am seeing more discord, because people are struggling with the fallout of how our world has changed. We are being terrorised not only by ISIS but by ourselves, as we project our fears onto each other, and the idea of telling the whole truth, even to those you love, comes into question. If we can’t be totally honest with those closest to us, then we should all move to little cabins in the woods.
What happened to saying, “I’m sorry. What can I do to make it right?” Does anyone want to take responsibility for anything anymore? It seems like everyone has to be in the right all the time, and folks, that just isn’t possible. A Harvard study showed that medical professionals who apologise for mistakes get sued far less often than those who do not.
There are no boundaries - people steal other people’s spouses; others steal money from their loved ones and even abuse (or neglect) their elderly relatives. Quite frankly, it makes my stomach turn. Maybe it’s because I see it more than most, but I fear the direction in which our society is going.
But I know an easy way to stop all of it - just be honest from the start. It solves many of life’s problems, and you will enjoy your experience more, whatever your goals are.
- Dr Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, California, is the author of The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time. Follow his daily insights on Twitter at @BartonGoldsmith, or em-ail him at [email protected]