Ameer rushed her to Mumbai’s Tata Memorial, Asia’s largest cancer treatment centre. There, on the hospital’s paediatric patients’ floor, Ameer spent almost all her time, three years straight.
“I saw many children and their parents suffering from poverty. Many parents weren’t able to afford even the food their ailing child needed. They wouldn’t be sure whether their child would live or not and yet they couldn’t stay by their child’s side — they had to go to work so as to earn a livelihood,” says Ameer.
WHERE IT ALL STARTED: Ameer with her daughter Nilofar, who passed away two years ago after fighting cancer to the last.
Fortunately for Nilofar, her family was financially equipped to facilitate her treatment. “While we had my son’s bone marrow transplanted to her, the child on the bed adjacent to ours wasn’t getting access to the desired treatment. Such sights bothered me no ends,” Ameer says, “I decided I must lend some support to such children.”
Tragedy, as former American senator Robert F Kennedy had accurately assessed, is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live. Out of Ameer’s misery of living through her girl’s unrelenting fight with cancer, emerged something profound — a resolve that would heal the lives of hundreds in the years to come.
Upon returning to Kerala, Nilofar was still suffering from the side-effects of the treatment. While Nilofar underwent chemotherapy, Ameer, a homemaker with no tangible exposure to the outside world, suddenly found herself spending endless hours at the Pain and Palliative Care Society in Thrissur, Kerala.
NO SMALL SOLACE: Ameer with young patients at Solace.
“That was my homework. For seven years, I went there almost every day after tending to my daughter’s needs. I would spend time with patients of terminal illnesses and their families. I learnt to take complete care of a person diagnosed with cancer or any other life-threatening disease. I learnt to provide symptom relief, psychological support, moral support, and social help, so as to address all facets of the treatment process, apart from learning about the administrative challenges of running such a system,” Ameer recalls, “That experience made me stronger.”
In fact, so strong that the 50-something social worker-philanthropist then felt she was ready to start a charitable trust for children suffering from long-term illnesses. “I started Solace nearly nine years ago with a dedicated team of trustees and volunteers,” Ameer says, “My only intention was to do something for kids. At first, I thought if I could support 15 children, it’s good enough.”
Then that number grew in hundreds and now Solace (www.solace.org.in) supports 1200 children suffering from cancer, thalassemia, cerebral palsy, nephrotic syndrome, haemophilia, heart disease, etc. with the Rs 9 lakh a month (approx. QR50,000) that it gets as donations every month.
IN AUGUST COMPANY: Ameer with Sachin Tendulkar, Nita Ambani and Rajdeep Sardesai after receiving the CNN/IBN Real Hero Award 2011 award.
“In 2014, we could offer support of Rs 78 lakh to the kids. In 2015, we could offer support of about Rs 1.14 crores,” points out Ameer, “Basically, we provide children with life-saving medicines on a monthly basis for as many years as required. For cancer patients, we also provide funds for chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and so on.”
Interestingly, the work that anybody involved with Solace does is totally voluntary. “As a policy, we don’t even foot the volunteer’s travel expenses. That’s because many might make exaggerated travel cost claims. So they must decide on their own, whether they want to really do something for these children. We have created a great platform. Whoever wishes can join us.”
What perhaps also distinguishes Solace is the purity of purpose driven by a reason most benign. “I am not someone who has just seen others suffering around her. I am someone who has actually gone through it all for 16 years. So I know how to care well. When a mother sits before me in my office and starts talking about her child, I can understand her before she completes her sentence,” Ameer says.
For Solace, it all began with opening a play therapy unit alongside the leukemia ward of Medical College, Thrissur. “That was because children were missing from the playgrounds at their schools and homes. They were confined for nearly six to seven months in these glass rooms,” Ameer says.
Soon, Solace began registering patients, mainly those referred from medical college, so as to support their medicine and chemotherapy costs. “Our first objective is supporting the patients’ life-saving drugs. Second is to provide psychosocial support to the sick children and their families, mainly by regular home visits, providing rice-and-pulse kits to families who can’t afford food, and conduct maintenance work such as repairing roofs of their homes during rains,” says Ameer.
Recently, the Thrissur-based Solace opened two satellite centres in Kochi and Kozhikode to strengthen its reach across Kerala, and the healing wave of benevolence has distant shores in sight. “We are gradually expanding our operations but it takes time because we believe in visiting homes and providing on-ground care and support,” Ameer says.
In the midst of all this, Ameer has also found a way to inculcate the good in the coming generations. “In Malappuram, there are many young patients from extremely poor families. For Solace, the voluntary work there is done by students between the ages of 15 and 20. They relay us the exact needs of the patients. This way, around 400 youngsters get to learn the importance of helping others as they grow older,” she points out.
Despite keeping a low profile, Ameer has been unable to keep away from all the accolades her exceptional work has drawn. “I think I have got as many awards as it is possible, from my state,” she says, smiling. Vanitha Woman of the Year Award 2011, and KV Surendranath Award 2012, are two of the many such honours, apart from the CNN/IBN Real Hero Award 2011, which she mentions, with a grin, was awarded by batting maestro Sachin Tendulkar.
Although the Indian expat has been splitting her time between Kerala and Qatar, it has become tougher to stay with her husband and her son here in Doha with work beckoning her all the more of late. “I can’t leave my family here in Doha, and I can’t leave Solace,” Ameer says.
Nilofar, unfortunately, passed away two years ago. “Solace, to me, is like my daughter. Earlier, I had to manage my daughter and Solace. Now, Solace has become my daughter. So, I must find a person who can give not just some time, but all his or her life to Solace and take charge of it. As difficult as it is to find this person, I know I must spend time with my family too. Also, I am getting older,” she says.
Ask Ameer about one story that reaffirmed her work and she would shake her head saying there are numerous such instances. “Once, a woman brought her 11-year-old son who was suffering from juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, placed him on a bed and asked us whether we could register his case. This is an extremely painful, long-term chronic disease, and one look at the boy would tell you the agony he was in,” Ameer recounts.
“I looked at his eyes and saw an intense pain in them. He was looking at me with immense anxiety whether he would get the medicines and the financial support or not,” Ameer continues, “I held his hand and said: Don’t worry my child, we will support you.” Two years later, the boy came to Ameer’s office, sprinting and smiling.
“It’s these instances that make me feel certain that I am the right person to do this work,” Ameer says.