The alternative 2015 sports awards...

Forget the titles and trophies – 2015 was the year Barack Obama followed Blyth Spartans, Justin Bieber inspired Southend, and Queens Park Raisins were born

Tweet of the year
@SeppBlatter feeling good about the world in May – six days before the first of 2015’s FBI raids: “Fifa is 111 years old today. The next 2 months will showcase some of our key events.”

Single best FIFA performance
Came from Concacaf – making it three presidents in a row arrested on corruption charges. Jeffrey Webb replaced Jack Warner in 2012 pledging “a new dawn, a new chapter”, then pleaded guilty to racketeering in December; and Webb’s successor, Alfredo Hawit – who took the job in May with a dig at Webb’s loose ethics – was charged with bribery six months later. He denies wrongdoing.

Manager of the year
José Mourinho – who pledged to starve the press of “good and funny headlines” in October. He kept his head down after that.

Best TV interviews
In a strong year for José, October’s monologue following Chelsea’s 3-1 defeat to Southampton stands out. Sky’s Greg Whelan: “José, what did you make of your team’s performance today?”The answer was still coming seven minutes later. Also making an impression on camera: Louis van Gaal’s take on United’s defeat to Southampton in January: “They played in the same play style as Queens Park Raisins;” and Leicester’s Nigel Pearson – sacked in February, reinstated hours later, and sacked again in June, soon after calling a reporter an ostrich and storming out of a press conference. “I think you’re an ostrich – your head must be in the sand. Is your head in the sand? Are you flexible enough to get your head in the sand? My suspicion would be no. I can. You can’t.”

Pundit of the year
BT’s Michael Owen, reflecting on Manchester City’s problems this month: “When they don’t score, they hardly ever win.”

Referee of the year
Rugby World Cup Refcam icon Nigel Owens had some special moments, including telling Scotland’s Stuart Hogg to stop with the diving at Newcastle’s St James’ Park or “come back in two weeks”. Also making headlines: Brazilian football referee Gabriel Murta, who reacted to dissent in September by pulling a gun on misbehaving players. Referees’ head Giuliano Bozzano said Murta was misunderstood: “His finger was never on the trigger.”

Worst commentary moment
Veteran Chinese pundit Dong Lu – sacked in November after falling asleep while co-commentating for LeTV on Real Madrid v PSG. The game kicked off at 3.45am local time; Dong started snoring in the 79th minute.

Best record keeping
Stuart Broad – showing his attention to detail in reflecting on the best Ashes figures ever by a fast bowler – eight for 15 on day one at Trent Bridge in August. “It was one of those days you dream of. My previous best was seven for 12 against Kimbolton school under-15s.”
Neatest transfer
Came in July: a textbook double U-turn inside a week by Fabian Delph as he left Villa for Manchester City. The move was revived days after he revealed why he had ruled it out. “I’m aware there has been intense media speculation surrounding my future and I want to set the record straight. I’m not leaving. I’m staying. I can’t wait for the start of the season to captain this great football club”

Best showboater
Egyptian club al-Ahly’s teen star Ramadan Sobhi said sorry to rival club Zamalek in July for “disrespectful” showboating – standing on the ball with both feet during live play – which provoked Zamalek’s captain to kick him to the ground. “I apologise. Zamalek are a great club and I respect them.” Three months later, he did it again, also against Zamalek, prompting a 22-man plus coaches brawl.
    
Most humble
Cristiano Ronaldo continued to relax his defining 2007 pledge: “Humility is one of the values I most cherish. On the day I have a child, these are the principles I will pass on.” Among this year’s new CR7 developments: another line of Cristiano Ronaldo underpants; a €37mn chain of CR7 hotels; a new signature scent “Cristiano Ronaldo Legacy”; a second waxwork of himself for his home; a statue of himself at his CR7 museum; and the lead role in Ronaldo the movie.

Best crusader
In April Diego Maradona set out his pre?match message to fans before playing in Colombia’s charity Match for Peace: “I pray to God for peace in this country, I want peace with all my heart – end the violence in Colombia!” His post-match message: a public apology for hitting a 14-year-old boy during an on-pitch brawl. “Forgive me, man. I never slap kids.”

Tidiest day’s work
Came in April, as England Women’s Under-19s turned up to replay the final 65 seconds of their European Championship qualifier against Norway. The first game ended in a farce after the referee disallowed England’s late penalty for encroachment, and mistakenly awarded Norway a free-kick rather than England a retake. The two teams returned five days later to replay the final minute: Leah Williamson held her nerve, slotted the penalty, and England went through.

Best advice
Cardiff owner Vincent Tan finally relented in January and turned the club’s red kit back to blue. Why? “My mother, Madam Low Siew Beng, a devout Buddhist, spoke to me on the importance of togetherness, unity and happiness … To paraphrase John F Kennedy: ‘Let us never compromise out of fear. But let us never fear to compromise.’”

Best exchange
In October Harry Kane responded to a six-year-old boy’s letter online (“To Harry Kane Please can you come to my house to play football with me please. At 4pm on Friday. Love from Oscar”) with a gentle let down: “I’ll ask Roy Hodgson but I think I’ll have to be at Wembley!” He then got Oscar tickets for the match.

Worst driver
Chinese cameraman Song Tao used a Segway to film Usain Bolt celebrating his 200m gold at the World Athletics Championships in August – then flipped out and flattened him. Bolt took it well. “I’ll get over it. The rumour I’m trying to start right now is that Justin Gatlin paid him off.”

Biggest double take
Seventh-tier Blyth Spartans stepped up in January with a near FA Cup giant?killing of Birmingham, going 2-0 up. It earned @blyth_spartans a raft of new followers – including, briefly, a follow from @barackobama. They lost 3-2, and the president moved on.

Least likely collaboration
In November Southend’s Ryan Leonard revealed how listening to Justin Bieber’s music had helped him score more goals. Bieber retweeted the news to 71.9m followers, adding: “Fact. Lol.”

Most bemused
Andy Murray, in November, not buying media interest in him giving himself a haircut mid-match. “I don’t know why such minor things make such a big deal to you guys. I had some hair in my eye, and I just wanted to get rid of it. That literally took two seconds. That was it.”

Least-observant cabbie
Tony McCoy arrived back at Dublin airport with his wife Chanelle in February after announcing his retirement, and hailed a cab. The driver tried to strike up conversation with: “Did you hear McCoy is retiring?” Chanelle tweeted: “We roared laughing & said he is McCoy. Nearly crashed.”

Most spontaneous
Stuart Bingham, 38, lost for words after landing snooker’s world title in May: “Wow. I think it was a 63-minute frame and to go 16-15 up, that changed everything. It calmed me! Unbelievable. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!”

Best comebacks
1) AFC Wimbledon – winning planning permission for a return to Plough Lane – 13 years after an FA commission awarded their league place to Milton Keynes and gave fans this advice: “Resurrecting the club from its ashes as, say, ‘Wimbledon Town’ is not in the wider interests of football.” And 2) the new Hereford FC, attracting 4,060 fans for their first Midland Football League game in August – 732 more than Fleetwood v Southend, six divisions above them. Yesterday they broke the league’s attendance record, with a 4,381 Boxing Day crowd.

The most heart-warming
Sonny Bill Williams handing his Rugby World Cup winners’ medal to 14-year?old Charlie Line after November’s final at Twickenham. “I was walking around doing a lap of honour and a young fella came running out and he got smoked by the security guard, like full-on tackled him. I felt sorry for the little fella. I just picked the kid up and took him back to his old lady and tried to make the night more memorable for him. Better for it to be hanging around his neck than mine. I’m sure he’ll remember it for a while.” Organisers gave Williams a spare.