QUESTION: My boss keeps cracking jokes that make me sound like a terrorist. A couple of years ago, a friend and I got into trouble for setting off fireworks inappropriately. I had to go to court and pay a fine, and the whole thing was very embarrassing.
When my current manager learned about this incident, he began to make wisecracks about my being a bomber. Any time a terrorist event is on the news, he asks me where I was that day. To make it worse, he often does this in front of other people.
This is a family business, and all the managers are related, so complaining about him would only make things worse. Do you have any suggestions?
ANSWER: Since your boss is obviously an idiot, the only remaining question is whether he’s malicious or simply clueless. If these inane comments are delivered as good-natured ribbing, they may just be an example of the teasing insults which seem to be an inherent part of “guy culture”. In that case, you could explain your concerns and request a ceasefire.
For example: “Bob, I know you’re kidding when you joke about my being some sort of bomber, but I’m concerned that people might actually believe I have violent tendencies. That’s definitely not the impression I want to create, so I would appreciate it if we could end the bomb jokes. Is that OK with you?”
On the other hand, if his goal is to upset you, you should meet his lame remarks with a practiced neutral response. Upon hearing the word “bomb”, for example, you might roll your eyes and calmly state “It was fireworks, Bob,” then drop the subject. Once his “jokes” fail to produce a reaction, provoking you will no longer be any fun.
Q: At lunchtime, I often go to a nearby gym for a quick workout. Since my lunch break is only half an hour, I don’t have time to shower, so I wash up when I get back to the office. This usually takes about 15 minutes.
Yesterday, I left for the gym at 1pm, returned at 1:30pm and went to the bathroom to wash up. After a few minutes, my boss began banging on the door, loudly stating that this was my last warning about long lunches. In her opinion, I should be back at my desk after 30 minutes. Can she really keep me from using the restroom?
A: Pounding on the bathroom door was a childish move, so your boss has some growing up to do. However, the game you’re playing with your lunch break seems equally juvenile. Since you obviously understand your manager’s expectations, this ongoing tardiness seems intentionally provocative.
While some bosses are flexible about schedules, others expect them to be followed closely. Your manager’s claim that a half-hour lunch should last precisely 30 minutes may be strict, but it’s not inappropriate. So instead of continuing to antagonise your boss, select luncheon activities which fit into the allotted time frame.
Q: Our new regional manager was transferred here after being demoted from a higher-level position. This guy has no idea what our jobs involve and apparently doesn’t care. He seems to feel that cutting costs will help him return to the corporate “ivory tower”, so he has started randomly reducing our work hours.
Previously, schedules were posted two weeks in advance, but now they can change at a moment’s notice. Employees are frequently called at home and told not to come in the next day or instructed to leave as soon as they arrive at the office. Meanwhile, the work is piling up. How can we end this nightmare?
A: If this chaos is a reflection of your new leader’s management style, then his recent demotion is completely understandable. Before approaching him, however, you need to determine the driving force behind these cost reductions.
If slicing payroll was his own original idea, you should help your manager see how staff shortages could actually harm the business. But if he is simply responding to orders from above, then you need to demonstrate the benefits of a more orderly implementation plan.
Either way, the key is to convince your disorganised boss that the current strategy might make him look bad to upper management. If returning to corporate is his ultimate objective, then that’s the best way to influence him.
- Marie G McIntyre is a workplace coach and the author of Secrets to Winning at Office Politics. Send in questions and get free coaching tips at http://www.yourofficecoach.com, or follow her on Twitter @officecoach.
