ON A MISSION: Sarah Kobrus, second from right, inspiring youth to care for the destitute. Rught: A SISTER, A FRIEND: Making a genuine difference to Groub, a refugee in distress.
By Aney Mathew
Introduction
I am into my 60s, but I feel I have mislaid a decade somewhere in my travels — so it’s true for me, that the new 40s is your 50s!
I am originally from North Yorkshire, England, but I have lived abroad for almost half my life — in America, Bahrain, Qatar, France, Holland and now Qatar for the second time. I live here with my husband Andrew and my three children — Beth, Alice and Jonny. Professionally, I am a social worker and counsellor. My claim to fame is that my first writing project (collaborating on a book called Turning Points) was an Amazon bestseller in its category; for one whole day, I was an international best-selling writer. I also love rescuing dogs.
Tell us about your social work with refugees in Jordan…
I’ve been a youth group leader since 2003 and love to teach young people, that giving is so much better than receiving. Since 2013, I’ve been working with a group to help Palestinian, Iraqi and Syrian refugees in Jordan — through an organisation called Global Hope Network International. Often my children accompany me on these trips.
Their mission statement mirrors my own, ‘bringing hope and healing to the hidden and hurting’. The situation there is desperate as the volume of refugees is unprecedented. Many of the local and international aid agencies are simply overwhelmed and out of funds. The refugees are beginning to starve and it is very cold in Jordan at this time of year. Global Hope has a brilliant scheme called ‘Families Adopting Families’, which connects you directly with a family; you can help pay their rent and provide heating and food.
Can you share a touching experienceas part of your social work?
The Syrian and Iraqi Muslims and Christians refugees in Amman live in poor conditions including garages and basements — often several families live in one room.
The first time I visited Groub and her family was in 2013. As I heard their stories of terror, torture and fleeing with young children, I felt overwhelmed. “What help can I possibly be with such suffering and on such a scale,” I wondered.
But as I looked at Groub, I felt a deep connection with her; she went on to grab my hand and through the interpreter voiced exactly what I had been feeling. She felt I was ‘like a sister’. She had nothing to give me except her blue, plastic bangle, which she placed on my arm and insisted I keep it. She said, “You’ve made me feel like a human being again!” I gave her my watch in return.
Although, we are from different faiths, we agreed to pray for each other every day at 12am, asking God to bring us back together; a year later we were both overjoyed to be reunited. We keep in touch via Whatsapp using emoticons and I visit her each time I return to Jordan. She recently had her fifth child, a triumph of hope over adversity!
The number of refugees in Jordan is overwhelming but to have genuinely made a difference for even one family has been a humbling and joyful experience. We both still cry every time we say good-bye. As a family we send them what we can, when we can.
Would you relate an inspiring incident you’ve experienced?
I have so many, it is very difficult to pick just one; so I’ll pick one that happened here in Qatar. When I returned to Qatar in 2012, I was worn out by the many moves and the accumulation of losses. I felt like hiding, but instead initiated a Youth Group called The Edge who started a new project; to try and raise enough money to build a home for a homeless family in Lima, Peru. Over the next three years, this amazing group of 10-13 year-olds raised enough to build 36 homes! They also inspired me to go beyond and go on my first serving trip to meet some of the families. I had the most amazing trip to Peru with two of my youngest children and a group of people, who turned from strangers into my best friends ever. Giving is so contagiously good and it multiplies, too. We always receive back so much more than we can ever possibly give.
Expatriate children face unique challenges as 3rd culture kids, don’t they?
My children are all Third Culture Kids (TCKs) — part of a unique but growing group of Internationals who grow up caught between the culture of their parents and the host nation. Their experiences are unique. As they are grow, this deeply affects things like identity and belonging.
The average 18-year-old TCK will have experienced more loss from the coming and going that is constant in expat life, than an elderly person who has stayed put all their lives back home. Simple questions like “Where are you from?” and “Where is home?” are not simple at all. My eldest daughter lived in 16 homes, went to 11 schools in French, British and American systems by the time she went to the university in the UK!
My own TCK’s ‘home’ is in Brittany, France; while they are British passport holders, two of my children have never lived in England.
Yet the gains for my children have far outweighed the losses. They’ve had to learn at a young age how to be emotionally intelligent, resilient and to be active global citizens. They define home as, “anywhere Mum is, with enough of our stuff to feel familiar with.” They embrace being ambassadors with a still distinct British flavour but with American, Arabic and French toppings.
What is your ultimate dream?
You mean beyond world peace and an end to poverty, persecution and oppression? I’ve been writing my memoir — Counting Sunny Hours — for years, because new chapters keep unfolding. It is not so much a dream because it is perfectly achievable; I just have to be more disciplined and prioritise time to write. The dream would be that once it is published, at least one person contacts me to say that this has brought “help and hope to the hidden and hurting”.
What is your idea of a dream job?
I think I have it right now. I’m completely free to follow my calling — ‘bringing hope and healing to the hidden and hurting.” I am part of an amazing team of international co-working friends who have become my World Wide Web of family. My life and work includes everything I love — friends, family, writing, teaching, healing, travelling and good food. I may not have any salary or pension but I do have joy, peace and purpose that is making a difference for the greater good.
What do you consider your greatest accomplishments?
I have faced some truly tough times from traumatic bereavements to surviving cancer during multiple international moves. I am blessed with the tenacity to keep choosing to build my spiritual and emotional resilience. I am someone who walks the walk not just talks the talk and my greatest accomplishment has been passing on this same spiritual and emotional resilience to my three TCKs. They are genuinely kind, compassionate and good people. They are my greatest accomplishment, but I did not do this alone!
Your attitude to life?
Summed up in the well known prayer — God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
