Life in Qatar- A woman's Perspective
A Gulf Times Exclusive by Joey Aguilar, Staff Reporter
Claudia had always wanted to live in a Gulf country for some reasons, praying fervently that her dream would come true.
The Italian national used to live in London but after her autistic child was excluded from school, she decided to leave the UK hoping to find better opportunities abroad.
Claudia converted to Islam while living in the UK about seven years ago and changed her name to Sultana.
“I told my husband to find work elsewhere or I would take them both and leave,” she said.
After a few weeks, she said her husband came home saying he will be going to Qatar for an interview. Then after three days, he came back and told Sultana that he had got the job.
She was overjoyed with the good news and believed it was an answered prayer.
Sultana came to Qatar six years ago, on the onset of summer (May), to start a new life with her family.
“He went before me, as I waited three months in London with the children. In Qatar, a school immediately welcomed my son with open arms and I have to say, he made lots of progress in a very short period of time,” Sultana said.
After her daughter was enrolled to nursery, Sultana, a trained makeup artist , started looking for work but to no avail. Worse, she found that her husband, an Arab national who acquired Italian citizenship, had changed a lot especially in his dealings with her.
“He became unkind to me for no reason, saying in front of my face that he was ashamed to go out with me. He complained that I wore abaya and accessorised it properly. He accused me I was trying to be like local women”.
Their relationship deteriorated quickly and Sultana was prompted to go to the local court and apply for divorce.
In the meantime, she was called for interviews but failed to get a job. When the three- month waiting period ended, her ex-husband cancelled her visa and she was forced to leave Qatar.
But two months later, Sultana was able to return to Doha.
“His plan was to keep me away so the children would forget me. But God was on my side and I immediately found a job, not what I was hoping for, but I needed the visa to stay here with my children.”
Sultana was allowed by her ex-husband to see their children only during Fridays from 5pm to 7 pm in a mall “with the ever-present maid hovering around".
The mother had agreed the children would live with the father. “After all, he was the father and he was a good father.”
However, after a few weeks, she said she was frustrated with the arrangement and she sought the Italian embassy’s help but they said “there is nothing we can do to solve the matter.”
On a friend's advice, she decided to move the court for the custody of the children.
“One Sunday morning I went there and said I cannot see my children for more than two hours a week. After two days, my ex-husband received a court order to give me the children for a sleepover at weekends.”
She said she found the Family Consulting Centre very helpful. “When they called me, I could not believe it, everything had been done in two days.”
Sultana said her children were very happy to know they will stay with their mother for two days. “I was overjoyed to finally cook and eat with them.”
Meanwhile, her ex-husband went to the court and filed a case against her since he did not want the children to spend the night with their mother.
“But the court denied his plea. The judge kept saying no to his request as he had no actual reason to stop the arrangement. But the case went on for four months but in the end, I won. It has been nearly two years and my children still come to my place every weekend.”
Asked about the cultural gap that she had to bridge, Sultana said she coped very well with Qatari culture. “ I honestly don't find it far from my way of life before , for one thing pork was never eaten in my house. So the food habits were not much different.”
While in her native Italy, she had contributed to the 'city life' column of a local newspaper, writing mostly reviews of restaurants and public services.
Talking about local traditions, she said: “I find Qataris very hospitable , very helpful and they have really a unique way to welcome guests to their house, treating them with utmost dignity.”
On the difference of raising children, she said: “Here I am sure that nobody will touch them , while Italy has become dangerous, people get robbed or worse . Also, there is no special education concept in Italy while here they have services that the whole West can dream of.”
While she is looking for a better job, she said she is “eternally grateful to Qatar for giving me the chance to be here.”
“Most of all, I thank the country for taking good care of my autistic son in school and for giving me the right to have the company of my children at weekends.”
Sultana said her not having a college degree , has been an impediment in her pursuit for a good job. “I am a trained makeup artist with more than 20 years of experience and hope I would be able to find a better job. I also wish I could find a sponsor who would let me work on a freelance basis,” she added.
