By Sophia Weimer/DPA
Children, too, can suffer from stress, be it from pressure to do well at school, trouble with friends or discord at home, a German youth and social education worker points out.
In an interview with DPA, Dana Urban of Germany’s Federal Conference for Child Guidance Counselling (BKE), an association of employees of child guidance agencies, discussed the causes of stress in children, how parents can recognise it and what they can do about it.
“Particularly at primary school age, children face a lot of different demands,” Urban noted.
Some are school-related, such as suddenly being expected to concentrate and perform well. But fitting into a new group can also be stressful.
“The children want to make friends and be accepted,” Urban said.
While leisure-time hobbies can often bring a measure of stress relief, they can be stressful themselves if pursued excessively.
“During their transition to schoolgoing, in particular, children often lack time for free play, something that’s enormously important for their healthy development,” remarked Urban, who said that kicking a ball around the yard, rollicking about or cuddling with their parents could all alleviate tension.
And parents should set a good example when it comes to stress avoidance, Urban advised.
“Allow yourself sufficient time to relax,” she said. “Don’t rush children when they’re dressing for school or packing their satchel. Rather, be supportive.”
Parents should also make sure each day that their son or daughter isn’t overscheduled, Urban said.
Another tip that she had for parents was that they “encourage their children in things they do well, praise them when they’ve accomplished something and not have overly high expectations”.
According to Urban, stress manifests itself in children mainly physically: “They sleep poorly, complain of headaches and stomach aches, and have a diminished ability to concentrate.”
While some stressed children withdraw, others react with irritation, anger or even aggression - high time for parental intervention. Parents should make sure the child gets some healthy relaxation, Urban said. This means they should schedule idleness.
When the source of stress is family strife, other approaches at relief are necessary.
“If the parents are separating or divorcing, it helps children to receive the clear message that ‘mama will still be mama, and papa will still be papa’,” Urban said, adding that keeping to familiar routines was also reassuring to children during this time of major change in their lives.
What’s more, she said, parents should explain things in a way that the child can understand and not become impatient if the child’s reaction to a stressful situation seems inappropriate.
