|
Have you ever felt your family is more disconnected than united? And does your workplace family feel more like a group of competitors - even backstabbers? |
Oftentimes, members of any group start to play against each other. The tension rises as time goes by. Before long, the team starts to crumble.
But incorporating new strategies can help save the day. New behaviours, goals and thoughtful communication can help.
It’s always productive if someone in every group takes a leadership role - even if it’s more like a low-key supportive role, working on the sidelines to help bring out the best in everyone. This helps to lower tension.
Every adult can help to stabilise teams of people by developing relationship skills to help pull people in the same direction. And it doesn’t hurt to teach these skills to children in your life as well.
This magic can happen in the midst of ordinary groups in which everyone is not a saint or close to winning the Mr or Ms Congeniality award.
“I was the lowest person on the totem pole in my office for years,” says a law firm secretary we’ll call Tracey. “But I think I was the firm’s glue in a lot of ways. Some of our young attorneys enjoyed jockeying for power. Being 15 years older than most of the attorneys, I often steered them to do more for the team.”
For instance, she often noticed that some attorneys volunteered very little information in meetings. Tracey would speak up to ask questions that others in the room were probably eager to ask, but for some reason did not.
“I knew that withholding a lot of information from each other would not benefit the particular cases these young lawyers were in charge of,” Tracey points out.
Here are some tips for building a great team:
Ask if others need more information. Don’t just assume they do or do not. Always tell your team members: “Let me know if you need anything from me.” This makes it safe for others to approach you without worrying about feeling judged.
Learn to speak in clear, visual pictures. For instance, if you must describe some help you need from co-workers, say, for example: “I need all of you to write one or two paragraphs for the company brochure telling about your job role. Be sure to put in any good problem-solving skills you enjoy using.” Don’t say: “Write a little something about yourself for the brochure.”
Be aware of non-verbal behaviours in others. This way, you can detect when someone feels isolated or angry. For instance, if one of your family members is quiet and pulls away from the family, you can make it a point to ask if you can help in any way.
Whether it’s your family or your work group you’re dealing with, your team can function better if all players work as a unified force. This means everyone should feel respected and deeply appreciated by the others.
A friendly pow-pow, which can be an office meeting or a family meeting, can help everybody on your team feel his or her feelings do matter.
We all feel loyalty to others according to how they make us feel. It’s easier to pull for a team if you know the others care about your emotions and outcomes.
“Our world needs more shepherds,” says a banker we’ll call Aaron. “At my bank, we take time to take care of others’ feelings, and this enhances our teamwork. I know our mortgage loan department is a lot stronger than most. We make fewer mistakes, because we all spend a lot of time listening to each other.”
♦ Judi Light Hopson is the executive director of the stress management website USA Wellness Cafe at www.usawellnesscafe.com Emma Hopson is an author and a nurse educator. Ted Hagen is a family psychologist.
