Beware of vampires, psychos, and zombies in ... politics!
March 12 2018 12:13 AM

Dr Rashid al-Balushi/Assistant Professor of Linguistics,Sultan Qaboos University

People usually see vampires and psychos as well as zombies in movies. In what follows, we will show that these “creatures” can also be seen in real life, specifically, and unfortunately, in politics (running of state business, international relations, domestic policies, economic planning, etc…). This, therefore, makes the damage (human, diplomatic, economic, etc…) greater, which calls for more wisdom on the part of whoever decides on who is elected for or appointed in government positions, especially as heads of states and top-level officials.
Like movie vampires, vampire politicians live on sucking their people’s blood, by draining their lives of all the means to decent living, like good income, services, and other rights. Vampire politicians make every possible use of their positions and relations to accumulate wealth, exploring all possible means to increase their properties, through enacting new laws, manipulating policies, and developing new techniques, using the help and talent of corrupt officials. To succeed in their mission, vampire politicians start by forming networks of corrupt officials around them, for two purposes, to help them increase their wealth, and to secure it by having most of the state (or institution) officials partners in the corruption, and so guards for it. Therefore, vampire politicians would do all they can to remain in power so that they would continue accumulating wealth from the resources of their countries as well as from the wicked games of changing their countries’ diplomatic relations and selling their political positions for money, at the expense of their citizens and their status in the world. Vampire politicians are always ready to exploit any situation there might be to make more money, offering everything and everyone for sale. The ultimate result of being a citizen of a country led or managed by vampire politicians is a people without sufficient means to good life, one lacking good basic services and marked by increasing prices and decreasing levels of safety, security, and dignity. Since they do not feel for their own people, always draining them of all the means to a decent life, vampire politicians are human beings without a true heart.
Like movie psychos, psycho politicians always behave in a way that does not speak of a sound mind. They usually deal with problems by creating others, thinking that a problem is solved if a greater one is created, which reveals their ignorance of basic life (or thinking) skills. Psycho politicians usually make rash decisions, speaking before they think, and feeling fine about challenging the whole world (acting like a big brother), and are always ready for a confrontation, even for trivial reasons. They usually hide behind military might (always resorting to threatening and use of force) and speak louder than there are chances for action. And the only case when a psycho politician would calm down and become comprehensible for others is when he is in a confrontation with another psycho politician who has a more serious condition of mental problems. The administration of psycho politicians is marked by the absence of careful long-term planning; their planning is only based on military power, weakness of other parties, and the wicked desires of taking what the others have. And it is usually the case that their decisions would backfire and hurt them, their own people, and their main national issues. Therefore, I think it is reasonable to say that psycho politicians lack a true mind.
Zombies are “fictional undead beings”, “undead” meaning “that they are deceased but behave as if they were alive”, which means that they are not alive. Zombies are capable of doing one human activity, the worst of all, termination of life. Like movie zombies, zombie politicians are not concerned about the positive aspects of life (construction, co-operation, invention, progress, good relations, friendship, etc…), but rather about the negative ones, doing all they can to ensure that others’ lives (and hopes for life) are terminated. Ending life is zombies’ ultimate goal, which is expected given the fact that they do not feel life. Therefore, instead of looking for friends and people to co-operate with to make the planet a better place to live in, zombie politicians are more interested in having enemies, and so they always look for trouble, conspiracies, and evil alliances. Like zombies, who do not feel life in the absence of human beings, zombie politicians do not feel life unless there are enemies, evil plans, conspiracies, and weapons to destroy the enemies. And if there are no enemies, zombie politicians are ready to establish enmity with their own friends and neighbours, or even siblings, to enjoy fake superiority. Unlike vampire and psycho politicians (whose actions either take people’s money or get them into serious trouble, respectively), zombie politicians love to destroy life, even their own; that is, termination of life is their main mission in their living-like activity of walking. Therefore, it is not unreasonable to say that zombie politicians lack a true heart and a true mind, a natural consequence of the fact that they lack (true) life.
This, therefore, calls for the application of some new measures before electing or selecting someone for a state position, whether running the state or one of its institutions. Such measures might include tests that assess these people’s mental and psychological conditions. Such tests should also evaluate their thinking and problem solving skills and their integrity, as well as their attitudes towards public property and public service. Their eligibility for a public office could also depend on whether they have offered initiatives and plans to improve aspects of life in their communities, and whether they have provided voluntary public services. Also, other tests should be designed to uncover the candidates’ attitudes to people from other ethnic groups, religions, creeds and colours, as well as to neighbouring nations. Moreover, eligibility for the public office should also depend on having a clear plan for running the institution and developing its operation. In other words, the criteria for holding a public office should go beyond getting a number of votes, or being able to manage a public institution, or even having a number of certificates.

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