Tips for getting along with people you love

In our everyday interactions, we all hit what I like to call relationship speed bumps, which make us slow down and may jostle us a bit but also provide an opportunity to learn a little more about life and love. That being said, it is best to avoid these bumps whenever possible, and here are some tips for how to do that.1. Don’t try to always get your way. It has been said that if you give in on the little things, you will get the big ones. Sometimes people have to feel they are right, and it may be wiser to let them have that than to try and get them to see it your way. If it’s no big deal, just let it go.2. Lend a hand. One of the best ways to help someone who is overwhelmed is to offer a little assistance. It’s hard to be cordial when we are stressed, and your loved one may not be able to hide feeling overwhelmed.3. Learn to compromise. They should insert the word “compromise” into our marriage vows, because being willing and able to do that is important for getting along and staying connected.4. Commit a random act of kindness. It doesn’t have to be that big as long as it is heartfelt. Think of it as depositing love in your emotional bank account. The kinder you are, the more kindness you will receive. Your loved ones may not be as receptive at the start as you might like, but once they feel it, they will usually reciprocate.5. Don’t yell. A couple of decades ago, I got into an argument and yelled so loud that I rattled the dual pane windows. That was a strong sign to me that I was way over the top, and I had to make a behaviour correction. It didn’t take any more than that, and I haven’t yelled since.6. Once you recognise a flaw, fix it. Just like the previous example, when you see something isn’t right, do all you can to correct it. If you need help, then get it, but don’t let unhealed wounds and issues grind down your relationships.7. If a loved one is feeling down, do what you can to cheer him or her up. Seems simple enough, but most people just let others around them stay in an uncomfortable mood when all it may take to get them out of it is a quick conversation or maybe just a hug. Misery does not love company. Lift the spirits of those you love and your life will be better for it.8. Go with the flow. You may have had plans to go out to dinner or to a movie, and if your partner wants to stay in, you may be disappointed, but this is a good time to be generous and agree to just hang out instead. There will be many other times you can go out.9. Avoid getting upset when someone takes your parking place. If you live with people, as most of us do, there will be times when you feel that your boundaries are being crossed. When that happens, say something like, “Ya know, this time it’s fine, but in the future, could you please park somewhere else?” Asking in this way will keep tension from building, and the other person will probably respect your request.10. Say “I love you” more often than not. No matter what happens, if you keep the love flowing, things will get better. When we are feeling a little off, hearing “ILY” can make the difference between a good day and a bad one.Getting along with the people you care for is usually easy, but every now and then we all hit bumps. Use these tips to smooth things out on the road of life.* Dr Barton Goldsmith,  a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, California, is the author of The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time. Follow his daily insights on Twitter at @BartonGoldsmith, or e-mail him at Barton@bartongoldsmith.com