“We grow when we face challenges”

 INTERVIEW: DR ASMAA ALFADALA, Director of Research at WISEFor many women in different parts of the world, particularly in Eastern cultures, marriage and motherhood come surely and often prematurely, whether or not maturity and education does. Many cultures even conform to the unwritten social norm that girls should be married early, else if left until after their teens, would have the disadvantage of having ‘matured’ and are likely to develop ‘a mind of their own.’While coming ‘into their own,’ being highly educated and professionally established is very much an asset in reference to a man of the same age, yet in translation to the feminine gender, it often and quite paradoxically becomes a drawback. What is good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander! Undeniably, while there is still work to be done to further equal participation of women in the Mena region, a great deal of ground has been covered as a result of concerted efforts by intelligent leadership. In Qatar, women now form the majority of students in schools and universities. The region has taken huge strides in social transformation in the past decades where woman have become increasingly involved in society.In spite of continued challenges, there have been significant improvements in the social participation of women in the region and one can find inspiring examples of women in leadership. One such example is HH Sheikha Moza bint Nasser, the wife of HH the Father Emir, whose initiatives towards education for all is an inspiration not only for women in Qatar but in the Mena region and beyond. One can also find numerous success stories that are fuelled by the passion for learning and powered by family support. Dr Asmaa Alfadala’s is such an inspirational story. She is a Qatari mother of five children as well as the first woman from Qatar to receive a Doctoral degree in Education from Cambridge University. She is also a successful professional and currently, the Director of Research at World Innovation Summit for Education (WISE). In an interview with Community, Dr Asmaa talks about her journey and the people in her life that made it possible for her to succeed in what still remains, predominantly, ‘a man’s world’.Juggling motherhood and a career isn’t easy at the best of times, not even in the most ‘modern’ countries where the social system network is geared to support working mothers. So, living in a culture where the woman’s role is primarily home bound, was it difficult to achieve this? Although my parents didn’t read or write, they were guided by a belief that education was ‘the passport to life.’ They encouraged my sisters and brothers to work hard at our studies and do well in school. When I graduated from high school, I was fortunate to be offered a scholarship to study in the United States. I was very excited and I aspired to join my brother who was already studying in Florida, but my parents were reluctant to allow me to leave home. I was disappointed, of course, but in hindsight, I can understand their perspective, and how religious and cultural beliefs informed their reluctance. Instead, I attended Qatar University, and graduated with a degree in Physics and Education. I became a teacher of Physics in a secondary school for a year before getting married. Two of my older sisters had already married at 20 and 21. But they had both continued with their education even as they became mothers raising young families. My mother recognised the difficulties they had balancing their studies with family life. So she allowed her younger daughters, including me, to finish our university education before getting married. And this was despite many marriage proposals!  Although some girls still marry after leaving high school, and there is much variety among families on this issue, it is becoming less unusual for young Qatari ladies to follow the path into higher education, and delaying marriage. Ever since I was offered the scholarship which I had to turn down, my vision to study abroad never left my mind. Eventually, I applied for a scholarship at Sussex University, and was successful. I am ever so grateful to my husband for his immense and steady support for me throughout my studies. He and our two children, at the time, accompanied me to the UK. Living and studying in a new and so very different place was a great challenge for me — and for all of us — but I do believe that we don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges. I completed a Master’s degree in Science Education in 2005. I submitted my dissertation at four in the afternoon, and gave birth to our third child just before midnight the same day!Qatar Foundation recognised my commitment and offered to sponsor my continued post-graduate education. I returned to England in 2009 with my husband and our children — now five. I earned an MPhil in Research Methods, and a Doctorate in Education. I became the first woman from Qatar to receive a Doctoral degree in Education from Cambridge University. Be it motherhood or a Doctoral Degree, either one alone is a huge challenge in itself. How did your family react to your taking these up simultaneously? I started my Doctoral journey when my children were quite young (ranging from three months to ten years). It was a wonderful experience and exhausting at the same time. All my time was dedicated either to being a mom or to my studies. My mother, understandably, was apprehensive about my ongoing, intensive studying. She was worried that it would detract from my role as a mother. On the positive side, having kids is a brilliant way of keeping you grounded while absorbed in graduate studies. My siblings and friends were also emotionally supportive. But most important was the support of my husband. My success in meeting the challenges of being a mother and a student would not have happened without him. He too, in leaving Qatar, was leaving his friends, his family, and his life as he had known it. I can’t praise him enough for his role as a father and husband. I can’t talk about my PhD journey without also mentioning my supervisor V Darleen Opfer. I don’t know how I could’ve managed without her support. It’s amazing how far you’re willing to go when someone believes in you. Darleen believed in me from my first meeting with her and this helped me to keep going. I left my country with five children to a “scary” phase of my life. Darleen was always reminding me that “I could do it.” Share with us the experience of juggling full time PhD education with motherhood and what you found helpful along the way.I found my graduate work to be unusually rewarding; there were many amazing discoveries and benefits to study. But it is a huge commitment! It is nothing like an undergraduate degree. You are mainly on your own. I know that some parents very successfully manage to combine study with young children, but you really need to be a disciplined kind of person. Your commitment transforms your daily actions into your desired goal. I think that many of the lessons I learned as a graduate student with a family continue to be crucial to my success today. For me, being a mom for five children while in graduate school had several benefits. First, I clearly divided my time between home and study. I tried to give my brain time to relax and did not allow myself to be consumed with the minor crises and daily dramas of academic life. I rarely spoke about my studies with my husband or my children. This gave me an emotional and mental break from my “research questions” when I was with them, and allowed my brain to clear and recharge. Early to bed and early to rise became my best practice. After the children had gone to bed, I used to be too exhausted to study into the night, so I got up extra early and tried to take some time before my children were awake. I found it much easier and clearer in my head to do it all at the start of the day.A second benefit of having children was that when I was at the university, I focused on my study and did not allow myself to waste time chatting with my graduate student friends about random topics. Of course, it is crucial to engage in dialogue with your colleagues and friends. But my limited time made me very disciplined about how much I allowed myself to participate in hallway conversations. Learning to focus and get my work done in a limited amount of time became a key skill that has been useful throughout my career.Finally, I developed priority-setting skills and learned to multitask — like doing laundry, helping my kids with homework, and cooking all at the same time. Of course, my children mean everything to me, and when I was home I was, first of all, their mother. But while it is important to be there for my family and meet their needs first, there were times when writing up a chapter or analysing my data had to take priority, even if I sometimes felt guilty about it. I balanced it by trying to do special things with my children when life wasn’t so hectic, like baking together, taking a trip to the park or seeing a movie, or reading with them. Your advice to mothers in Qatar who are considering higher studies and full time careers....* Be sure you are committed; choose a topic that fully engages and interests you, because it could occupy your life for several years. *  Be sure that your family, and especially your partner, supports you.* Be prepared for the unexpected and be ready to adapt.It is a long road ahead but never give up!