I did everything in lockdown right, within reason. Bit of Couch to 5k, loads of Zoom workouts – well, you know what I did, you were there. Why, then, do I emerge from this hibernation having lost all my muscle mass? Was I really getting that much toning activity just from the ancient practice of being out and about? Why do I look so opposite-of-buff? Why am I constantly trying to find a new cunning ruse to get my Mr to put the Magimix away for me, because it’s too heavy?
I went to Arj Thiruchelvam (sports lecturer, elite athlete coach, with some regular people on his books) with exactly the questions anyone else in my position will be asking. First, is this just the march of time? No. He’s absolutely trenchant on this: “There are plenty of 40-year-olds who are substantially fitter and stronger than they were in their 20s.” Muscle isn’t like hair. It’s mine to regain.
Second, process goals are much more effective than result goals: always think in terms of what you will do rather than what you want the outcome to be. (For example: “I want to be able to open a new jam jar without my arms acting as if they are climbing a rock face.”) Instead, Thiruchelvam says: “Every morning, I will do these three things. Drink a pint of water, five squats, five press-ups. Small, habitual things we can easily tick off.”
Next, think in terms of your whole body. Don’t break it down into areas that bring you discontent; think squats, lunges, planks, push-ups – large areas of activation. You can build in some sit-ups and biceps work as you go along.
Thiruchelvam reckons that if you want to build a process into your day, you need to choose a place in your house to always do it, and call that your gym. He says his is in the garage, which makes him seem nice and relatable; we can all imagine that, having a garage, right? Then I asked what was in it. “Oh, a squat rack, a bench, plyometric boxes, sprint sleds. But I do work with a lot of elite athletes.” You don’t need all that. You can start with some resistance bands and see how it goes. You don’t need dumb-bells or a kettle bell, though sure, go for it if you want the rest of your household to call you mean names. You can achieve as much through repetition as you can through volume of weight lifted.
There’s an actual word for what I’m talking about, which I hear for the first time in this conversation: sarcopenia, the loss of muscle mass and strength through ageing.
The other key takeaway (apart from repetition being as useful as volume) is about nutrition. Muscle protein synthesis might be best achieved with heavy weights, but muscle-mass maintenance hinges on protein intake. The over-60s, in particular, might not build much muscle, but you can hold on to what you have by eating enough protein – ideally, says Thiruchelvam, from animal or dairy sources. What a result: I went in dreading a load of hard work and came out resolving to eat more cheese.

What I learned
Before you sit down, sneak in a few box squats: hover over the seat, hold, and then repeat.