Self love is in the air
February 18 2021 01:47 AM
Shefa Ali
Shefa Ali

By Shefa Ali

In usual Social Media fashion this week, we were swamped with messages about love and self-love. I am all for self love, but my concern over that last few years is that the definition of self-love we have created is self-defeating. 
Now, I know I sound a little harsh, but I feel it has become very important for us to understand the difference between self-obsession and self-love.  Having love for yourself means to be open to constructive criticism, to be open to improvements, to be open to make yourself a better person than you were yesterday. 
Self-love is about you taking care of yourself. It’s about protecting yourself from harm and damage. It’s about being there for yourself, being your own friend and pulling yourself out of misery created by your own mind.
Self love isn’t about posting pictures on social media with  ‘I love myself, I love my body’ captions. A person who truly loves his or her body does not feel the need to post pictures for validation. 

There is a very thin line between loving yourself and obsessing over yourself. Self-love is all about knowing your capabilities and using them to live a full life. It’s about pushing and motivating yourself to achieve your goals and dreams. It’s about knowing what you want in life and working towards it.
Self-obsession, on the other hand, is quite a different thing. Self-obsessed people tend to think they are too good for everybody. It means thinking the world revolves around you and everyone should think the way you do and work the way you decide.
Self-obsession is about not seeing your flaws, it’s about not realising your mistakes and thinking you are perfect. It means not caring about other people’s feelings and only focusing on your own.
That’s what the difference between self-love and self-obsession is. So here’s the bottom line. Self-love will teach you how to be a happy person. Self-obsession will teach you to be happy only with yourself.

* The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa,  Website:

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