You don’t have to post it, to prove it
January 08 2020 09:46 PM
Shefa Ali
Shefa Ali

By Shefa Ali

This week on my weekly Instagram live show, we talked about the need some of us have to post things on social media to prove our worth to others. Don’t get me wrong; I get it, I do understand. It’s difficult not to feel pressure in a society that praises ‘the hussle,’ being busy and happy all the time and of course unattainable beauty standards, when all you’re trying to concern your mind with creating a good life for yourself. 
I post regularly on social media, at the same time I make an effort to check in with my intentions for posting. I want to be sure that I am posting because I genuinely have something to share that could be of value to others, and I am not trying to prove something to the world. 
Here are a couple of questions I ask myself: Does my post represent me? Would I be proud if my children saw my posts? What type of energy am I inviting into my life with this post? Am I looking for instant gratification with this post?
It can be very easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you have to prove who you are and the amount of worth you deem yourself. This can result in the route of trying to better your life circumstances, rather than enriching your soul by demonstrating that your life can measure up to society’s standards of what ‘the good life’ looks like. In my opinion, this route can be dangerous. When we worry about proving ourselves to others, we fall out of alignment with ourselves. Instead of working towards the things we truly want, we start to go after the things we think other people need to see from us in order to accept us. This is an issue, because, I believe when you are praying or manifesting something, you have to have a pure desire in order for your dream to become a reality. You have to want something because you want it, not because you think other people will approve of it.
I came to the conclusion a long time ago, it’s not my job to prove anything to anyone; my job is to live the best life I possibly can. You have an opportunity to create a joyful life for yourself. You have an opportunity to create wonderful things that have meaning to you. Whether or not other people agree with your creations or would want them is irrelevant, because they are yours.
Ultimately, there is no competition. There are no winners and losers, and nobody’s passing out prizes at the end for being perfect.  Perfection, after all, is an enigma, and it doesn’t actually exist. We each have a life to live, and we all get to choose how to live it. We each get to do it differently, and we each get to be unique. Life is a gift that is given to all of us, but to make the most of it we have to be honest about how we really want to live it.

The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa,  Website:

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