I learnt a new lesson last week, that it’s okay not to downplay disappointment and it doesn’t make me a negative person. I found myself in a situation in which I was truly disappointed, not wanting to be negative or ungrateful, I kept saying to myself and loved ones “Well there are major tragedies going on in the world, you really can’t be upset about this.” Until my friend who is a psychiatrist said “Shefa stop doing that, it’s totally ok to feel disappointed.”
Then I realised you can be disappointed and content at the same time. Just don’t let your disappointment define you. That’s the difference between one who has faith and one who does not. It’s not the experience of disappointment that differentiates us, it’s the definition we assign to it. Disappointment can lead to destiny if you have faith.
Some disappointments are huge and truly life changing, some are small, annoying, or simply just make you want to cry. I know that feeling of disappointment is a natural part of the journey of life, there is no way of removing it from the experience, most of us are terrified to feel it, but emotions don’t need to be taken on as permanent disposition they are just a temporary physiological state. 
When you find yourself faced with disappointment, do a reality check — is the situation really that bad? After feeling the first few hits of the disappointment, step back and assess. It may seem like the biggest, most horrible thing that could possibly happen right now but we humans tend to dramatise, things. Feelings are real and are important to recognise, but thoughts are not always the absolute truth. 
As a coach I give my clients an opportunity to label how they feel about disappointment. Many actually don’t know and may say ‘bad’ or ‘not good,’ which are mood states, not emotions , and can cause fears and excessive worry. So instead of telling them ‘just be positive’ or ‘don’t be upset,’ lets take the fear of feeling uncomfortable by reiterating the message, “it’s okay to feel ­­­­__________________,” in this process of developing emotional acceptance, it encourages them to be more mentally resilient and focused.
Our interpretation of a situation that takes place is in many ways more important than what actually happens. In any disappointment we need to find something useful that we can build on, even the smallest positive outcome in the situation. The more we can learn to frame in a way that’s constructive and positive while still being honest, the better equipped we are to process disappointment.

 The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa,  Website: missshefa.com