By Shefa Ali
Tomorrow I am giving a workshop about dealing with difficult people. While I was preparing my talking points, I realised sometimes it seems the world is full of people who annoy us, push our buttons as they say, or just damn frustrate us! These people can challenge us to the core of our being.
They could be a colleague or a manager, a neighbour, a friend, or a family member. It might be someone you don’t know and may never see again, like the waitress serving your dinner or the person checking you in at the airport. Unfortunately, many a times the people who challenge us the most are the ones closest to us, like our parents or our significant other, since they are in our lives daily, learning how to manage these challenges is really important.
Something that has helped me a lot is the understanding that I cannot control other people. Yes, they will do crazy, annoying, incorrect things. We can’t force them to act the way we want them too. Its impossible to force someone to stop being lazy or stop lying to you. The only person you can ultimately control is yourself. It’s you who gets to decide how much you’re going to let a person’s behaviour impact or bother you. Your worrying, obsessing, venting has zero impact on them – and in the end the only person you hurt id yourself.
Let it go. Here’s an exercise for you. Think of a person who drives you crazy. Get worked up – think of how they lie to you or how they don’t do their share or how selfish they are – whatever it is they are doing that drives you crazy. Assume they will never change. Ever. Now, can you just let it go? Is it a minor thing you’ve been focusing on, but you made it major in your head?
No matter what the situation, it’s possible to move through life with grace and ease. Once we understand how feelings and emotions create your reality this will give you the power to change how you experience life. Once you adopt a new way of seeing the world, it makes you unbotherable.
Look into some simple energy-shifting techniques that can leave you calm and at peace instead of frustrated next time you encounter a challenging person or situation.
Once you become “unbotherble” it becomes possible to have more harmonious relationships. You gain an increased sense of calm, you have less stress and anxiety and you definitely will feel less overwhelmed.
Since applying these techniques to my life I have gained an ability to move through life with grace and ease, I have increased my effectiveness with work and at home and I have a peaceful night’s sleep.
The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa, Website: missshefa.com
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