So much of the time we put off feeling joy. More than half the vacation days that people get from their employers go unused.
Many people are afraid to take time off because they’re fearful someone may try to step in to take their jobs. Others think that cashing in those vacation days is better for their finances, and that may be true, but giving up your vacation time may take away from that bundle of things you have to look forward to.
Happiness comes when you are moving toward your goals, and we all need things like vacations to give us that lift when we just think about them. Having future plans is so important.
I often tell clients who are going away on a summer trip to start discussing the next great family adventure as soon as possible after they return. Making plans should always be near the top of your to-do list.
Too many people push their personal joy aside, and it is so important that you give yourself some special moments and make the memories that you can share and look back on.
Having a balance of work and some play in your life is a very important part of getting through this daily grind, and it decreases the likelihood of things developing like anxiety disorders, depression and burnout. Finding your joy will also help keep you healthy.
When we get too stressed, we don’t function as well as we would like, and most of the world knows this. Americans take the least vacation time of any developed nation. It’s great that we are so industrious, but you can’t create when you are overwhelmed and your brain and body are crying for a break. Please listen to yourself, your family members, and your coworkers, and if you see that those around you need more joy in their lives, you probably do as well.
I understand the desire some people have to just hang out at home, but even if it’s due to a lack of funds, there is much you can enjoy in your own hometown. The staycation has become a ritual for many. Between staying at nearby campgrounds and taking a few day trips, you can enjoy things you haven’t seen or done before.
It’s interesting to note that couples who do new things together build stronger relationships than those who don’t. This closeness comes from the hormone oxytocin (also known as the cuddle hormone), which becomes stronger when you seek out new things with your partner.
So you see, seeking a little joy in your life is not only good for you but also good for your partner and your relationship.
Some folks who are doing the single life may not see a benefit in taking a vacation alone, and that’s understandable. If that’s your situation, try asking a friend or relative to take a trip with you.
If no one is available, you can explore singles cruises, trips and more local activities. All you have to do is take the time to look. A quick Google search should help you find many things to do, no matter what your situation.
Go ahead and give yourself a vacation. If postponing joy has been your habit, it’s time to break it.
After you have given yourself a week or two of joy, you will come back to your regular life feeling refreshed, and you will accomplish so much more. And you will have the added benefit of de-stressing and making memories that will last forever.
*Dr Barton Goldsmith,
a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, California, is the author of The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time. Follow his daily insights on Twitter at @BartonGoldsmith, or e-mail him at
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