Consider this hypothetical work conversation:
“Hey, boss. Check out this cute picture of a panda. Oh, also, would it be possible to ...”
“I HATE PANDAS! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!!”
That didn’t go well, in large part because the worker forgot that the boss once fell into an exhibit at the city zoo and was mauled by an unexpectedly violent panda. What seemed adorable to the worker was traumatising to the boss, and communication broke down.
(FUN FACT: Hypothetical conversations involving unexpectedly violent pandas are actually quite common in workplace advice circles.)
The point here is the conversation would’ve gone a lot better if the worker had taken the time to learn something about the boss, and used a bit of strategy. That may be the most overlooked element of workplace communication - the need to think first before speaking.
Some might recoil at the idea of communicating in a strategic manner, viewing it as sneaky or inauthentic. I disagree, in large part because all you’re really doing is listening to people and engaging with them in a way that makes them comfortable.
Mattersight, a tech company that creates personality evaluation software to guide interactions with customers and employees, recently published a networking guide that outlines six personality traits: adviser, connector, organiser, original, dreamer and doer.
For each trait there are explanations of what drives the individual and suggestions on the best ways to interact.
For example, advisers are: “driven by deeply-held convictions and have firm opinions about how things should be done. They care about tradition, loyalty, integrity and credibility.”
You might spot them at a conference asking probing questions or “frowning intensely at the speaker” because they’re listening carefully.
And the best way to connect with that type of person is: “Asking their opinion - ‘What do you believe the right approach to X is?’ - or validating their judgments or actions - ‘You bring up a really great point’. This will help you to establish a values-based common ground, which is the ideal launching pad for a deeper relationship with this style.”
I spoke with Jason Wesbecher, Mattersight’s chief marketing officer, and he explained that the company’s work is based on a process communication model developed by Nasa in the 1970s. It was used to monitor the language patterns astronauts used as they communicated with each other and with mission control, looking for signs of distress or other changes in emotional state.
“Language is a very reliable advertisement for personality, distress, what your psychological needs are,” Wesbecher said. “We took the model and tried to test whether we could hear these patterns reliably in phone calls. We had behavioral scientists manually listening to calls. Then we set out to create software algorithms that can give second-by-second data and feedback.”
The company has analysed more than 1bn phone calls and built millions of behavioural algorithms that can help people in call centers improve how they interact with customers.
“Before the customer even speaks to an agent, we can route them to an agent best capable of dealing with their personality style, based on the agent’s past history of dealing with people with that personality style,” Wesbecher said. “And after the call, we can provide coaching and training to the agent based on what happened inside that call.”
That doesn’t strike me as devious. In fact, it seems downright sensible, both for call centres and for anyone who has to communicate with other human beings.
“We’re talking past each other,” Wesbecher said. “We’re not listening for those clues that are being dropped, those advertisements that are being dropped in every conversation.”
Mattersight has made a business out of this communication strategy, but that doesn’t mean we can’t perform similar analyses on our own.
You may not agree with the personality traits Wesbecher and his colleagues have compiled (and you can view the whole list here: www.tinyurl.com/gwlh7sk), but it provides an excellent guide for the way we should be thinking in the workplace.
Don’t just expect people to sync with your tone or your sense of humour or your patience or lack thereof. Study your co-workers and managers. Listen, and start a mental database of their traits and communication styles.
Learn who likes jokes and who has a deep-rooted fear of pandas. Learn who needs a little conversation before getting down to business and who hates small talk.
This requires thought and practice. I can’t speak for all of you, but I know I often find myself talking to people without giving thought to their personality traits. We fancy ourselves strategic communicators, but if we’re honest, that approach is probably only taken occasionally. We slip into default mode and chatter away.
It’s not sneaky to want to connect with people in a way that will make communication easier. It’s smart.
So try to pay attention to those advertisements - those personality cues - in the language people use.
And watch out for pandas. They’re cute, but deadly.
- Rex Huppke writes for the Chicago Tribune. Send him questions by e-mail at [email protected] or on Twitter @RexWorksHere
